for our beloved noz
Published Friday, September 02, 2005 by tony the pony | E-mail this post
noz will be taking a trip to syria soon. we dont know where syria is but we have been told by very reliable sources there are muslims there. i think it is safe to assume noz is not muslim as he has yet to explode but we want to give him this prayer in case he should wander close enough to an exploding arab. from the book of 13. written while drilling for oil in alaska with nothing but my bare hands, a sherpa, four jars of vaseline and nudey pictures of the pope. dubya is my shepherd; i shall not want he maketh me to lie down on pelts of baby seals: he leadeth me beside still oil wells he restoreth my x-ray vision: he leadeth liberal in the paths of expensive suv's for his friends sake and for all of our sake's really, if only we could use them for something more constructive than traffic cones. yea though i walk through the alley of the assploding minefields of dirty arabs, i will fear no evil except the evil of being blown up by brown people...but light brown....the dark brown ones will shoot you then steal you wallet: for thou art with me with cruise missles and delta force; my rod and my staff they comfort me on those cold nights noz is in syria. thou preparest a legislation to stop abortions before me in the presence of elitist north eastern liberals eager with hangers and vaccuums to eradicate love: thou anointest their vaginas with house resolutions to stop the influx of babies going to hell; my cup runneth over with sweet sweet crude and a side of michael moore's back bacon. surely goodness, strong acid, a sri lankan hooker hung like a donkey, and my shadow will follow me all the days of my long non-assploding life: and i will dwell in the house of dubya for three more years and the republican representatives shall dwell in their house with a majority for no more than 100 years but no less than 94 and the senate shall pass legislation to allow the remaining democrat to keep their seat as a memorial to a once great party. dont forget to take some sunscreen; when people explode it can give a nasty c4 burn. kind of like sunburn except you typically die from it. also dont take any crap from those people, they can barely speak english.