George Bush is a Baby-Killer
Published Sunday, September 11, 2005 by Dr. Kenneth Noisewater | E-mail this post
Horatio told me this weekend that George Bush killed babies
. He doesn't leave them in dumpsters or anything. Horatio told me that our lord and president kills them by not commandeering helicopters and dropping Lunchables and bottles of Evian to them. He told me that George Bush actually sat on his hands while babies died in New Orleans. I assured him that this cannot be the case, because nobody sits on their hands unless they are going to give themselves "The Stranger". Also because the president doesn't have the authority to send troops in without being asked by the governor, which he wasn't until it was too late. Seems like there a few federal laws that protect the states from the federal government in times like these
, whether they have weapons of mass destruction or not. But lets not let facts get in the way from an emotional argument. Imagine how pissed Horatio would be if the president of the United States had "pre-emptively taken from the female governor of another party the command and control of her forces, unless the security situation made it completely clear that she was unable to effectively execute her command authority and that lawlessness was the inevitable result?"
He also told me that Bush has done "nothing but cut the budgets of first responders". Nothing but kill babies that is. I assured him this was not the case. He told me it was true, that firemen were forced to fight fires with kittens and used diapers. Nevermind the fact that first responder spending during the last 4 years has increased by 780%
. A 680% increase in state and local funding over the Clinton administration, as well as a 2600% increase in State Domestic Preparedness Funds.
Apparently Dartmouth doesn't teach civics or common sense.