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i went to grade school with michael newdow. no kidding. i used to kick his ass every day during the pledge because our fourth grade teacher was a vet who was a hard of hearing and sobbed during the pledge. i also told him god didnt love him and that if there really were a god he would protect michael from getting his ass kicked. i didnt stop and i think i owe someone an apology.

america, i apologize. i should have foreseen this. i never thought by beating a little michael newdow everyday he could have turned into such a bitter little man. i mean honestly who has the time to sue a school not once but twice over the pledge of allegiance. hopefully, one day when i can stop drinking and can make money other than in rest stop bathrooms i can sue michael newdow for being petulant. im not sure if i can but i sure as hell will try.

what the hell is an atheist anyway? you believe that you dont believe in something? or even better, you believe something does not exist? what does that mean? i have tried to reason it out in my head but i keep going cross eyed and losing my seat on the bus. i should hitch a ride to san fran and kick the crap out of newdow again...except this time ill tell him god sent me and god wants me to kick his ass. i will then periodically attack newdow. maybe in a couple of years we will find newdow somewhere on the mississippi delta handling snakes.


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