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from here on we will refer to michael newdow as "the fetus that beat us".

so i did some poking around on the internet. when i got done looking at risque pics of hillary and some very hairy chested woman, i decided i needed to purge. i took three hits of acid and started drinking gasoline. once the acid kicked in i started to imagine what it would be like in the world of "the fetus that beat us".

number one: we'd still have slaves. now, if it were up to me we'd never have gotten rid of slaves. there has always been a part of me that would like to pick cotton and receive the occasional whipping from a man on a horse with too much pent up sexual aggression. of course there has also been a part of me that would like my own personal ass wiper. the proclamation mentions 'lord' four times. of course all in reference to dates. but the ol' abe drops the bomb on us and actually invokes the name of 'almighty god'. now i can only assume he means the christian-jewey god because dubya was not born yet. therefore, no emancipation proclamation, no freedom from slavery.

number two: the constitution references the lord only once. it is used to name the date. now we can go one of two ways here. either we abolish all time or we abolish the constitution. i go for abolishing the constitution. getting rid of time could prove to be not only difficult but since i dont believe in time i can't abolish what is not there. so we get rid of the constitution. how fun would this be? it would be like living with a bunch of dirty muslims, everything would be smelly, shady, explosive, and completely lawless. this is exactly what atheists want; the complete and total breakdown of normal society....of course atheists dont know why they want that because they dont really believe in believing so i guess they wouldnt even believe in the belief that lawlessness could exist because that would require belief....okay i just fell of fmy seat on the bus again.

number three: ah yes the brits. well, in the world of "the fetus that beat us" we would still be ruled by a bunch of funny talking, bad teeth having, ugly women sexing, boring literature reading, very effeminate sounding brits. personally this wouldnt be too bad. after all they use great words like "queue" and "lorry" and "bobby" and "bloody". this would make me giggle constantly. i also wouldn't have to go the free clinic anymore because the brits love addicts and more they love to house them and feed them and give them "help" (read: more drugs).

so in newdow's world we would all be totally messed up on drugs, slaves of the brits, with absolutely no law. sounds to me like we'd be living at the kennedy compound.


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