The New Religion of Hate


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Horatio and I were stealing backhoes from an abandoned Iraeli greenhouse in Gaza the other day and boy was he pissed. He kept going on and on about gays and some guy named Ratzenberger. I thought it was weird because there is no way that Cliff Clavin was gay. I mean, Woody, maybe.

Then he explained to me that Ratzenberger was the Pope and he wasn't letting gays become priests. I don't see what he was getting so upset about. Catholics haven't allowed heterosexuals to become priests either. But apparently, he was upset because the Pope had committed the biggest hate crime ever! Now you can't become a priest if you think about men when you are "polishing the bishop"! And we know how the liberals love the hate crimes.

So now if you are keeping score, here are the groups that cannot become priests:
  1. If you have had, are having, or thinking about having sex with a man
  2. Women
  3. Smokers
  4. Heterosexuals
  5. Pedophiles
  6. Muslims
  7. Boy Scouts
I thought gays liked Scientology anyways. I mean, look at the uniforms they make you wear in the SeaOrg. And you may get to ride white horses. I mean, you can't get much gayer than that.

And BTW, if you did not like this post, it was George Bush's fault.

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