lets get started:

the award for "most likely to scare children and least likely to be a supreme court judge" goes to my cousin johnny dumptruck. however, in a very close second, harriet miers will actually win the award, partly because harriet and i are having sex and partly because no one knows my cousin.

the award for "reservation for deaf arabs, your impending nuclear destruction is ready" goes to iran. i dont know why they think they would be any different from iraq. dumb is dumb in the crosshairs.

the award for "please, no more probes" goes to the american public for having to tolerate a week of no news because every journalist on the planet is trying to scoop the leak investigation. i have an idea journalists, why dont you report the news instead of giving us detailed articles how there wont be news today.

the award for "more powerful than god" goes to patrick fitzgerald for shutting down the entire world's news (see above).

the award for "yet another example of dubya melting ice caps" is 'almost' hurricane beta. with all that our lord and savior does in a day (censoring liberals, designing a fascist state, etc.) melting ice caps is quite possibly the most difficult logistically. i applaud him.