this week in awards: dec 16th.


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it's too easy sometimes.

the award for "one last poke in the ass" goes to tookie williams and his journey with lethal injection. tookie, you won't be missed.

the award for "comments even 13sides won't say" goes to the president of iran, ahmed-allah-al-jazeera-mussab-al-donkey-lover-von-dumber-than-a-bag-of-hammers for his comments about the holocaust being a myth made up by europeans. someone needs to tell him islam was a myth made up by the jews to control those who are too dumb for their own good.

the award for "yeah...but he still lied" goes to every democrat who has in any way implied iraq has been or will be a failure. early polls say 11 million of 15 million people voted. sounds like civil war to me.

the award for "better left in the hands of professionals" goes to hwang woo-suk (no kidding) of south korea for his amazing research on stem cells. why should the u.s. government spend millions of dollars on research we all know the asians will figure out first?

the award for "worst soldier in history" goes to john mccain for forcing through his ban on torture. someone needs to put this guy in a tiger cage. look buddy, we know you went to viet nam and got pinched while taking a hudge, we know the punishment you endured now makes you intolerable, however, odds are that the people we torture will NOT go back to their home countries and drum up sympathy for their incompetence. (known as pulling a "cleland")

the award for "nicest invitation for a terrorist attack" goes to all the senate democrats for threatening a fillibuster on renewing some of the provisions in the patriot act. i dont know what it is with these people that they hate america so much...how do they get elected?

the award for "most pointless investigation" goes to all the people finger-ponting about whose responsibility the levees in new orleans were/are. we all know it was bombed by super secret hurricane proof airplanes to kill all of the black people in new orleans...because clearly they weren't doing it fast enough.


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