look i know there is a lot of stink about what we should do about immigration. should they get amnesty? should we deport them? what will happen to the economy? who's going to cut my grass and wash my dishes? personally i dont care, the mexicans that work for me can never escape the shed i've locked them in.

honey, no need to adopt, i am here for you. im not mexican but i can cut grass.

so duke's lacrosse team is in trouble for allegedly raping a stripper. check it out. okay, lets review some interesting points about this...

1. duke sucks.
2. lacrosse is a sport for a bunch of rich white kids who don't have horses to play polo.
3. the stripper was black.
4. 46 dna samples were taken.
5. duke sucks.

so here we have a bunch of rich white kids raping a black woman. according to the report not all 46 men who had dna taken are considered suspects. but let's just say all 46 men were involved in the attack. shoot lets just say half of them were involved. now, did they have to pay individually? is it extra if you go first? can you get a discount if you were the last one? since she is clearly pressing charges, do the people who paid her get their money back or is it forfeited? these are the questions the media should be answering.

Congrats to the SEC's drunken uncle - LSU - for beating all that is evil - Duke - to advance to the Elite 8. A great win for the Tigers and the SEC. Damn I hate Duke and Coach K. It does my heart good to see the last image of JJ Redick in a Duke uniform....crying.

1. natalie portman - there is something very sexy about a woman built like a little boy.
2. audrey tatou - she'll be in the da vinci code movie and for some reason i bet she smells like daisies.
3. dorothy mantooth - i am mentally incapable of treating anyone like a saint.
4. the wife from the jetsons - ever wonder if the curtain matched the rug?
5. reese witherspoon - a new addition to the list. she's had a couple of kids and we all know what that means...
6. mother theresa - i know she's dead but what a challenge she would have been.
7. hillary clinton - she's the kind of girl you could donkey punch and not feel bad about it later.
8. jaime pressly - she makes that earl show bearable. well, her and the colored dude with the hair, but i stopped wanting to have sex with him a long time ago.
9. lucy liu - i've never been into s & m but i would let her kick the crap out of me any day.
10. portia di rossi - sure she's queer...that makes her even more attractive.

Some days are good and some days are bad.

And then you have days when someone you know accidentally sends you an email with pictures of her yabos in an attachment.

foreign people terrify me. with their strange words and their strange looks and their strange colored skin and the way the always seem to smell like raw sewage that was left in a diaper in the desert. sure, america used to be a melting pot, we let anyone in, we became known as a place of refuge, a place to make a new start, a place that holds something better, however, we should leave the past in the past. today things are different and i'm not talking about terrorism. what im talking about is these people no longer make what is great about america great. when we let everyone in, that was what made america great. now what makes the u.s. great is guns, the marines, clubbing seals, manifest destiny, imperialism. there is no place for "people who talk funny" or "people who dress weird" or "people who smell so bad god flinches". i would like to ask the interlopers some questions: do you ever feel like an outsider? like maybe you are different and no matter what you can't assimilate? you ever feel unwanted, treated like a third class citizen, degraded? well, you are.

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