top ten women i have no chance with


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1. natalie portman - there is something very sexy about a woman built like a little boy.
2. audrey tatou - she'll be in the da vinci code movie and for some reason i bet she smells like daisies.
3. dorothy mantooth - i am mentally incapable of treating anyone like a saint.
4. the wife from the jetsons - ever wonder if the curtain matched the rug?
5. reese witherspoon - a new addition to the list. she's had a couple of kids and we all know what that means...
6. mother theresa - i know she's dead but what a challenge she would have been.
7. hillary clinton - she's the kind of girl you could donkey punch and not feel bad about it later.
8. jaime pressly - she makes that earl show bearable. well, her and the colored dude with the hair, but i stopped wanting to have sex with him a long time ago.
9. lucy liu - i've never been into s & m but i would let her kick the crap out of me any day.
10. portia di rossi - sure she's queer...that makes her even more attractive.


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