i've had it with both parties. im so tired of the shit slinging, the name calling, the he said - he said crap, the delving into pasts for information meaning nothing. im tired of the posturing, the pandering, the lying, the scheming. im tired of the suits and photo ops. im tired of having to listen to these chuckleheads tell me 1. something i already know or 2. something that is complete and total bullshit. im tired of having a representative not representing me. im tired of sending someone to washington to spend a few years to figure out how to stay in washington instead of representing someone in their constituency. americans are called stupid becuase the politicians say things and we dont get upset or try to refute. americans aren't stupid, they're tired. there is no point in telling someone they are wrong when they haven't ever listened to you and aren't going to start now though they may represent you. americans are exhausted listening to the people pretending to be adults, pretending to look out for us, pretending they care, pretending they have a vision for america.

what i want is a politician i can vote for not someone who gets my vote because the other candidate is a turd burglar. i want someone who doesnt spend the entire campaign telling me why i shouldnt vote for the other candidate. im not retarded; i can use the internet and see who else is running. i can see their voting record (if they have one), i can see what they've done with their life, i don't need your help in framing the opposition. give me someone inspiring. give me someone who actually believes in america and not in their own interests. give me someone who could care less about the opposition because their job is to REPRESENT their constituents and not sling shit at the other guy. give me someone who will listen to what we have to say and take it to washington and look out for the state first then the federal government. give me someone with a basic understanding in economics and ethics. give me someone who won't go on record just for the sake of doing so but will be heard through their votes and their dedication to the people they represent. give me someone who won't spend time passing resolutions to thank the whitehouse secretary for making brownies. give me someone who knows we don't need special projects from the federal government, someone who will refuse pork barrel spending though they may be the only one who does so. give me someone who understands when i go to work the money i make is mine first, my family's second, my church or other associations third through fiftieth and maybe if there is anything left over the government can have some of it...maybe. give me someone who will defend this country without apology. give me someone who is willing to stand tall and do what is right for this country and then the world. give me someone unwilling to appease anyone who threatens our security. give me someone who will build a wall a mile high and a mile thick across all of our borders. give me someone who won't apologize for it either. give me someone who will send home those people who are here illegally and punish those countries who allow or even assist their citizens to break our laws. give me someone who is not afraid to pray to god, any god. give me someone who will tell reporters "its none of your damn business".

give me an american, not a politician.




Seemingly random things anger me. Maybe they don't anger others, but they do me. It's not always airline peanuts, traffic, or politics. Sometimes it's the litte things. For instance, how people say websites can piss me off in two ways.

1) "Dubya, dubya, dubya... Microsoft dot com". You may want to read this twice to know what I'm talking about. They saw the www but eliminate the "dot", then say "dot com" at the end. "Dubya, dubya, dubya...(pause)...Yahoo! dot com." It takes a special kind of lunatic to do this.

2) "H-T-T-P...colon...slash...slash." They actually say it and I die a littel each time I hear it. I'd bet most people who spell out http:// have never been to an ftp or https site in their lives.




Our intern P-Diddy has a special keyboard that he is attached to. We felt the keyboard should be attached to the ceiling.






My department got an intern 2 weeks ago. It is my philosophy that interns should be hazed. Today is part 1 of the installment.

Meet Puyan. We call him P-Diddy, Puffy, Diddy, Punani, etc. Diddy is a 22 year old student at a technical institution in town. He seems like a good kid, but over-eager and very naive.


Wednesday, 9:45 AM - We decided we would start the pranks by messing with his equipment. Before he got to work, we stole his monitor cable. Harmless, right? Puyan wasn't amused. He went to the supply room to get another cable and returned cussing up a storm.

10:15 AM - We were reminded of the building fire drill that was to occur. One of our co-workers has a bum leg, so Puyan decided to take the elevator with bum-leg downstairs before the fire drill started. A 22 year old not wanting to walk down 11 flights of stairs just smacks of laziness. So we stole his monitor cable again. **NOTE - This was done out of spite and punishment.

10:45 AM - We returned from the fire drill with more cussing from the intern as he realized again we had stolen his monitor cable. He went to the supply room to get another.

12:45 PM - I conspired with someone not in our department to steal his monitor cable while we were at lunch. As we were walking out of the building, Puyan decided he wasn't hungry and took the elevator back upstairs. By this time, his monitor cable was already gone. He went to the supply room to get another.

4:15 PM - While he was in a meeting, we decided to steal his cable again. We went behind his monitor to unhook the cable, only to find he had zip-tied it to the monitor. We took a pocket knife and cut the tie, then stole the cable. He went to the supply room to get another one amidst much cussing.

Thursday - 9:45 AM - Puyan got to work today and was greeted with this.


We had taken every monitor cable we could find and stacked them on his desk, however, we stole his monitor.

Tomorrow I think we will zip-tie everything on his desk together.




My Nigerian scammer friend, OnyiDollars, returned today. This time, however, the subject of money never even came up.

12:01] onyidollars: how are u
[12:05] Dr. Ken: fine
[12:05] Dr. Ken: and you
[12:06] onyidollars: cool
[12:06] onyidollars: what do u do
[12:06] Dr. Ken: I'm an internet gambler
[12:07] onyidollars: that is good
[12:07] Dr. Ken: and an amateur gardener
[12:07] onyidollars: sorry fr self
[12:08] Dr. Ken: ?
[12:08] onyidollars: i am sorry for y
[12:08] Dr. Ken: why?
[12:08] Dr. Ken: i grow fresh vegetables for my family
[12:09] onyidollars: u dont want to help your self
[12:09] Dr. Ken: help myself?
[12:09] Dr. Ken: i make a lot of money playing poker
[12:10] Dr. Ken: what do you do?
[12:10] Dr. Ken: and my wife likes sitting in the cucumber patch for some damn reason
[12:10] Dr. Ken: I pulled her out kicking and screaming the other day
[12:10] Dr. Ken: hello?
[12:11] Dr. Ken: are you there?
[12:13] onyidollars: yeah
[12:13] onyidollars: go on
[12:14] Dr. Ken: what do you do?
[12:19] Dr. Ken: dude, are you gonna waste my time today?
[12:24] onyidollars: no
[12:24] onyidollars: so how is your wife look like
[12:24] Dr. Ken: she is gorgeous
[12:24] Dr. Ken: 5 foot 9, blue eyes, blonde hair, long legs
[12:26] Dr. Ken: if i could just keep her from doing squat thrusts in the cucumber patch, I'd have it all figured out
[12:26] onyidollars: wow
[12:39] Dr. Ken: yeah, she is hot
[12:44] onyidollars: IN BED
[12:45] Dr. Ken: A WILDCAT
[12:45] onyidollars: wow
[12:45] onyidollars: i love that
[12:46] Dr. Ken: she tosses my salad with thousand island dressing
[12:47] onyidollars: god
[12:48] Dr. Ken: you married?
[12:49] onyidollars: no
[12:51] Dr. Ken: gay? cause it's ok if you are
[12:53] Dr. Ken: i once touched a guys balls at hebrew camp
[12:54] onyidollars: u are very stupid
[12:55] Dr. Ken: i'm not ashamed
[12:56] onyidollars: ok
[12:57] Dr. Ken: so you aren't gay
[12:58] Dr. Ken: ?
[12:58] Dr. Ken: i bet you have a key west mud tickler, don't you?
[13:00] onyidollars: fuke you
[13:01] Dr. Ken: fuke me?
[13:01] Dr. Ken: fuke you!

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