I love See B.S. From the network that gave us Memo-Gate comes this objectively-worded headline:


I don't know what "world" they're talking about but most guys I know respect the hell out of bush, though prefer the bikini triangle, the porn-like landing strip, or shaved. Nevertheless, I began reading the first sentence:

"Americans generally approve of President Bush's handling of the current Mideast crisis, according to a CBS News/New York Times poll, but six in 10 say the president is not respected by foreign leaders. "

Um, where's this "world" stuff again? This is just a poll of freakin' Americans! That's twice you've duped me See B.S.

Continuing on I found this:

"(A)nd in an additional diplomatic concern, most Americans (60 percent) now think he is not respected by foreign leaders. That number is down significantly since just before the Iraq war began in 2003, when about half of Americans thought Mr. Bush was respected around the world. "

What? Where's the bad news here? I was ready for some Bush-bashing and you give me:

I wish Horatio was still around to explain this whole journalism thing.

The Nobel Prize really is a joke anyway. There seems to be two lists. The list I remember as a kid with Mother Theresa and the like and the other list with people like Betty Williams. So 30 years ago this idiot protests England's killing an IRA member (read: Irish Al Qaeda) because after the English gentlemen shot the McMurderer he veered off the road killing a few innocent people (for probably the 50th time). Williams makes leaflets and signs and whatever and gets the prize.

Just so we know Ms. Williams, how'd the IRA do for 30 years following that prize? Appeasement defined.

After babbling on to a few hundred schoolchildren about how Ms. Williams would love to "kill George Bush", the aspiring assassin-of-peace tells her story:

"We went to a hospital where there were 200 children; they were beautiful, all of them, but they had cancers that the doctors couldn't even recognize. From the first Gulf War, the mothers' wombs were infected. "
----- Pause for WMD proof # 9246, for anyone still counting -----
After asking a doctor if he thought they would make it Ms. Williams continued, "He looked me straight in the eye and said, 'None, not one'. They needed five different kinds of medication to treat the cancers that the children had, and the embargoes laid on by the United States and the United Nations only allowed them three."

Williams never said which George Bush, so why not assume both here. Let's review. Saddam Hussein ignores international law, invades Kuwait, among other things kills hundreds of Kuwaiti babies in incubators (if only we had a peace-lover to protect them), and then the UN steps up, lead by who else, the US. Saddam Hussein then uses WMDs which gives his people cancer needing "five different types of medications" to treat.

GHWB stops Hussein's ass into the desert.

Years later, after defying his own signed agreement with the UN, Saddam Hussein chooses to break a law whose punishment is embargoes. For several reasons, we can't trust his word that he isn't preparing to nuke us into the stone age and eventually the embargoes are enforced while Saddam pockets billions from the Oil for Food program. After a few thousand US citizens are killed, and given historical proof of Saddam using WMDs and lying to us, we don't trust his latest assertions and the US decides to act.

GWB stop his ass into the desert. A new government is formed. Embargoes are lifted. Medicine, iPods, and Britney Spears for all.

So, the moral of this story is George Bush should be killed by a Nobel Peace Prize winner. Am I the only one who thinks the whole world has gone crazy?

Bush addressed the NAACP recently to reach out to the black vote and tout the renewal of the Voting Rights Act of 1965. I've tried reading the act but it's not really a page-turner. What I can't understand is if we really need it or not or if it's just one of those symbolic things that don't really do anything, sort of like an Al Sharpton law.

The act aside, I found sweet irony in some of the statements made. The President said “you must understand, and I understand, that racism still lingers in America.” Yes, Mr. President, it does. Just look at the room full of people in front of you hoping for a promise of laws that benefit only blacks.

Discussing the visit, Al “race-baiter” Sharpton and Bill O’Reilly got in a tussle about public education and school vouchers when Sharpton offered these gems:

“The job of American presidents is to give quality education to everybody.”
“You cannot finance a voucher system that’s for everybody system. The voucher for everybody is called public education.”

Uh, I’m still checking the Constitution on the first one but so far no, that’s not the job of American presidents. It’s the job of American principals, teachers, and the NEA. How’ve they been doing by the way? Al then confused a voucher-for-all system with public education. That’s like saying you’d need a 96% welfare rate to keep unemployment at 4%. The missing ingredient here is what we conservatives refer to as “competition”.

Bush said, “I understand that many African-Americans distrust my political party.” Then continued, “I can make it simple. We republicans spoke out, fought, and died for the right for blacks to be free. If democrats won, you’d all be slaves. See how easy that was? So if you people would stop voting like a herd of sheep that’d be great.” After which, Bush was lynched for saying “you people”.

After all of this I still have one question: is it politically correct to say "colored people"? Still wondering why it's not the NAA-BP, or the NAA-AAP.

Taking a break from my after-dinner treat: Godless, I happened upon a website that made me proud to not be a Democrat. Two claims on this page were made. To save myself from an aneurysm, I'll ignore the second. Because, frankly, I don't know or care if blacks were forced to sit in the back of movie theaters or balconies. I'm pretty sure I would have opposed such a theater and am glad they don't exist today. To be frank, however, I've never been to a movie theater with a balcony. If I had, that's where I'd want to sit - that is, if the back of the first floor was already taken.

The first point made was that Ann Coulter got it wrong. These crafty liberals dissected Ann in ways only they can. After trashing George Clooney and Hollywood liberals about their tardy entrance to social issues, Coulter wrote: "The point is: The Hollywood set didn't start wearing AIDS ribbons until 1992." The brilliant retort was: "As tipster Ian M. correctly asserts, the AIDS ribbon wasn't even designed until 1991." (At which point Bruce Springsteen music plays and balloons start falling.)

No ribbon? We had no idea! How else could you possibly raise awareness for a disease killing hundreds of thousands of your "girlfriends" without a ribbon? (Besides, of course, using your undue global influence and wielding that enormous microphone available to you. Still can't think of how? I'll help you. Pretend Bush was re-elected and six weeks later a ballot-baffling, crack-pipe carrying, ex-convict said he hit two red lights on his way to vote at 11:59pm in Miami-Dade. Go!)

The comments idiots are even better, but picking off them all would cause carpal tunnel, and make me dumber for doing it. Since I'm already four deep:

Fortunate One says:
I hate her like the big bag of poison she is. Okay, I know, that doesn't make much sense, but words cannot express, you know... her whole implication that AIDS was only spread by anal sex? Ann, you're an idiot, babe.

Let me help clarify Ann's "implication". Coulter implied that AIDS was primarily "spread by anal sex" BETWEEN TWO DUDES!!!! Find some facts to disprove that.

RyanAdams opines:
Ann Coulter has a special place in my heart. You have to admire her vileness, it's unique like how cows farting can harm the Ozone... disgusting, yet remarkable.

You know what else is remarkable, how God allows cows to fart and "harm the Ozone" but no one dies from it. But show Him the primary cause for the spread of AIDS and here comes the reaper.

chgo921 spews:
Is she getting her AIDS info from her closeted friends (cough, Drudge, cough)? And like Reagan tried to do with AIDS, if we ignore her, will she just go away?

This one is hard to hate entirely. In two sentences, this moron used being gay as an insult then pretended to be concerned for decades. I, for one, am glad Reagan didn't spend more time on AIDS. In a shockingly brilliant display of prioritizing 100% of his constituency over less than 1%, he was too busy winning the Cold War. Further, and it's been a few weeks since I read the Constitution, but I don't remember seeing the Article titled "President's Responsibility: Protecting Gays from Themselves".

Whatever these people think, they're missing the point entirely. Coulter was pointing out that liberals weren't allowing any discussion about how AIDS was indeed highly concentrated in the gay community. Infinitely more important, if public officials weren't so damn PC they may have been able to correctly point out this fact, target the likely with information and warning, and stopped or slowed the spread of AIDS.

I feel comforted knowing if one day the CDC discovers golf causes leprosy in above-average wage-earning white males I'll read about it everywhere. Like Coulter, I'm troubled as to why that's true. But God help everyone should one day scientists discover fried chicken causes heart disease and obesity among - cough - those most likely to consume it.

Two more things popped into my head today. Here they are, in no particular order:

1) Cloth toilet seat covers. Recently, my wife installed these works of Lucifer in every bathroom in the house. Now, when I have to pee, I'm forced to do the one-hand-on-member, one-hand-on-toilet-seat balancing act. When friends are over and need to return some beers back to the wild, a wave of shame emanates from my soul as they walk to the nearest de-masculated latrine. When they return, it takes 10 minutes to make eye contact or speak again. We both know what just happened. Only time can heal the wounds.

2) Mid-way through Godless, someone please tell me why Ann Coulter is politically sidelined as merely a pundit. Not to impune her impact, but there has to be some red state that needs a new Congresswoman or a national campaign needing a leader, or candidate. Granted, she's likely unelectably on the grounds of her addictions to facts, historical perspective, and reason. That and her ubiquitous crusade against abortion. Coulter's writing has a way of hitting the reset button on my common sense - restoring it to its factory-default setting of Clear & Rational - and undoing decades of unnecessary complication caused by spin, public ignorance, and distortion of truth. More interesting is the fact while Godless disproves every major liberal position and/or assertion of consequential truth that I've been exposed to still nothing is refuted by the left. Well, I digress. To liberals, I must admit that I, too, feel Ann Coulter plaigarized one sentence regarding the Furbish lousewort. Disgusted by this, I can only dismiss what I've read and go no further.

[11:15] Dr.Ken: onyi
[11:15] Dr.Ken: what's up
[11:15] Dr.Ken: you left yesterday
[11:23] onyidollars: noi
[11:23] Dr.Ken: i got up and when i came back you were gone
[11:40] Dr.Ken: you there?
[11:40] onyidollars: yes
[11:40] onyidollars: where are u
[11:40] Dr.Ken: USA
[11:41] onyidollars: ok
[11:41] onyidollars: i love to know you
[11:41] Dr.Ken: thanks, i feel the same way
[11:43] Dr.Ken: where are you?
[11:46] onyidollars: enugu
[11:46] onyidollars: nigeria
[11:46] Dr.Ken: and what do you do there
[11:50] onyidollars: a banker
[11:52] Dr.Ken: cool
[11:52] onyidollars: u
[11:53] Dr.Ken: I'm a gender-reassignment surgeon
[11:54] Dr.Ken: makes me a lot of money
[11:54] onyidollars: u dont know what u are
[11:55] Dr.Ken: sure i do
[11:55] onyidollars: fuke you
[11:55] Dr.Ken: I'm pretty sure what i am, i cut my own penis off with a pair of rusty garden shears
[11:56] onyidollars: idiot
[11:56] Dr.Ken: i know, it hurt like a m*ther f*cker
[11:56] Dr.Ken: i was an idiot for doing it
[11:57] Dr.Ken: but now i can pee sitting down
[11:57] onyidollars: ok
[11:58] Dr.Ken: so how about sending me some of those exploding dye packs
[11:58] Dr.Ken: does your bank give out lolly pops?
[12:04] *** "onyidollars" signed off at Fri Jul 07 12:04:24 2006.

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Onyi IM'd me today. He wasn't very talkative at all though. BTW, that 770 number that I gave him is the rejection hotline.

[13:15] onyidollars: how du do
[13:16] Dr. Ken: just fine
[13:16] Dr. Ken: you?
[13:16] onyidollars: cool
[13:16] onyidollars: what do u do
[13:16] Dr. Ken: I'm a fluffer
[13:18] onyidollars: ok
[13:18] onyidollars: that,s good
[13:18] Dr. Ken: it is good
[13:21] onyidollars: ur phone no
[13:25] Dr. Ken: 7709087383
[13:27] onyidollars: ok
[13:27] onyidollars: your country
[13:30] Dr. Ken: I live in the Valley, near LA Califonia,
[13:30] Dr. Ken: That's where they film all the movies i work for
[13:30] Dr. Ken: maybe you've heard of some of them
[13:32] Dr. Ken: Romancing the Bone
[13:32] Dr. Ken: Men in Back
[13:32] Dr. Ken: Baredevil
[13:33] Dr. Ken: you seen any of those?
[13:33] Dr. Ken: where do you live?
[13:34] Dr. Ken: i'll be right back, cocks don't get hard on their own!
Session Close (onyidollars): Thu Jul 06 13:34:36 2006

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This is from a couple of weeks ago. My nigerian scammer buddy IM'd me on the 20th. Sorry it took so long to post, as i forgot it even happened.

[14:00] onyidollars: hi
[14:00] Dr. Ken: hi
[14:00] onyidollars: was up
[14:01] Dr. Ken: eatin some lunch
[14:01] Dr. Ken: getting ready to watch the World cup
[14:02] onyidollars: wow
[14:02] onyidollars: was the score german
[14:03] Dr. Ken: 3-0
[14:03] onyidollars: to who
[14:03] Dr. Ken: Germany beat Ecuador
[14:03] onyidollars: poland and costa
[14:03] Dr. Ken: 2-1 for Poland
[14:03] onyidollars: who won
[14:03] Dr. Ken: Poland
[14:04] Dr. Ken: but neither advance
[14:04] onyidollars: who quliafy
[14:04] Dr. Ken: Germany and Ecuador
[14:06] onyidollars: ok
[14:06] onyidollars: where are u
[14:06] Dr. Ken: USA
[14:06] onyidollars: can i ahve your no
[14:07] Dr. Ken: what do you need it for?
[14:07] onyidollars: as friends
[14:07] Dr. Ken: where are you calling from
[14:07] Dr. Ken: it would be expensive
[14:08] onyidollars: i work in a bank
[14:08] onyidollars: so is not
[14:08] Dr. Ken: i have many banker friends
[14:08] Dr. Ken: what bank do you work at
[14:08] onyidollars: diamond bank nigeria
[14:09] Dr. Ken: I have friends at Suntrust and Bank of America
[14:09] onyidollars: ok
[14:14] Dr. Ken: have you ever seen an exploding dye pack?
[14:14] Dr. Ken: do you have those in Nigeria?
[14:15] Dr. Ken: the little bombs that explode when someone robs a bank
[14:15] onyidollars: yes
[14:16] onyidollars: did u need it
[14:16] Dr. Ken: if you have any laying around
[14:16] onyidollars: yes
Session Close (onyidollars): Tue Jun 20 14:38:49 2006

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